Adam Blatner

Words and Images from the Mind of Adam Blatner


Originally posted on July 4, 2018

Have you noticed? Other people let you down, clearly because they don’t care for you enough to really try! But this is mistaken often because: (1) we believe they should try. (The idea that they don’t care is too far to be considered a possibility). Or maybe (2) they are trying but can’t (the idea that they’re not as practiced, skilled, talented, just doesn’t occur to you). Or (3) they’re not in your league, haven’t had practice, haven’t had access to practice, even though they’re your age
Or: (4) they’re not interested. They should care even though they don’t. Or (5) they’re distracted by more pressing things that are relevant to their own existence. Or (6) etc.

Whatever: they are blameworthy. Tease-worthy. Less conscious is the feeling that you’re trying and they “should” try as hard as you. They’re betraying you! Letting you down! The idea that they don’t care as much as you do doesn’t enter your mind: It’s unthinkable! If you are willing to recognize this as egocentric, you may. It’s an almost universal condition of childhood.

Other people should care. (Is this at all true? I question it!) It never occurred to you that your whole annoyance “complex” of thoughts might be yours. These thoughts seem to reveal the true nature of reality. All this denies that maybe they’re really not as smart as you, not by half,  even though they sometimes make more money and look like wise old men, curious, enthusiastic,  successful, and so forth.
For example,  speaking for myself, it just never occurred to me that my colleagues, doctors, medical school classmates, are nowhere near as passionate and interested as I was. Or perhaps they weren’t curious about the same things! However, since then I’ve thought about it and realized that it’s 93% projection!

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