Adam Blatner

I’m not in charge of my memory, so clinging to memory doesn’t work. I’m tempted to take a stand against my body: "What am I, chopped liver?" is a Yiddish expres-sion in confrontation with a person who is perceived as dismissive. It’s a sarcastic way of assertion of independent existence. But I’m not saying that. I’m open to letting-go.

As another hint about ageing, I have leg cramps if I walk too far—it’s called "inter-mittent claudication."  I take these as “signals from beyond.” I choose to perceive it as going gentle into that good night—not to rage—in contrast to the advice of the Welsh  poet Dylan Thomas. But to  explain my position: Dylan Thomas  put it. But he was in his late 30s, for goodness’ sakes. I am about to turn 81.  I’ve been experiencing changes in my physical stamina, as if to hint or prompt me to take stock. I’m winding down and wrapping up, as I say.

I will very probably get  a new computer, with MS Word, which I believe is now the standard word processing program. Wordperfect (which I have been using) is falling behind. Is that so?

Changes. We are comfortable in our little home, but all are changes. Maybe there is a time when acceptance of evening is wise? I am working on an anthology of how "Action Explorations" applies psycho-dramatic methods beyond psychotherapy and as simulations in the wider arena of learning complex truths.

There’s also a cartoon-picture book about the metaphysics (such a big word!) of three-dimensional existence—the world in which we live. We can’t see the 4th dimension of time, or other dimensions, but if one thinks about dimensions, "seeing" (even in one’s mind’s eye) is sort of instinctual, but not necessarily the surest avenue to insight. So I speculate promiscuously — though I doubt that’s the right word—and hypothesize too. Whatever that means. My Christmas doodle-mandalas are a hint.

I’m writing to you because you join me at the edge of the hi-dive board, and occasionally dive in, but neither of us is vouchsafed (I wondered how I was going to use that word) to go deeper and for a more sustained time. One needs to be 7- or 8-dimensional to do that, and we are, indeed, a little, some of us, but only as beginners.