Adam Blatner

Here’s a way to discover how powerful you can be: Think of someone you know; and then, having thus thought, call that person and say, “Hi, I was thinking about you.” For a little extra credit, when you do think of that person, focus on some little thing they did, or that you did together, or something they played with, etc. And then when you call, say, “…and I was remembering that…” and end the sentence with what you thought of.

There are other things you can say, but that’s for another time. This will blow their mind (in a good way)! This is because many folks forget that anyone knows that they exist, much less cares. To exist in the mind of another is to be more vividly present in the world; one’s intuitive sense of self gets larger. It can be especially powerful if the person called is feeling any level of meaninglessness, depression, or uncertainty.

It’s a truly spiritual act, too, because it offers a simple and powerful way to carry out a sacred commandment: “Love one another.” Yeah, okay, but how? Here’s one very powerful way. Now if you don’t yet “get” how powerful it is, imagine this: Just now that person called you, out of the blue, and said to you, “Hi, I’ve just been thinking about you.” Wow! (In psychodrama or therapeutic role playing, that imagination technique is called “role reversal.”) Most folks doing this realize what an impact it makes, recognizing that you are in someone else’s consciousness.

Continue the fantasy: Imagine them then saying, “Yeah, I’m remembering how you (and here fill in some shared memory, maybe an almost inconsequential bit, some fragment, a walk you took, a funny observation you made), and, I dunno, it rang a bell with some stuff happening in my life, and I thought I’d call and say thanks”, or “…how much I love you.”

Whoa! That would keep you up and tingling for an hour, for a day, maybe for a couple of days. It’s stronger than any drug you could take. That person’s love lifted (even) you! Wow! That’s power, my friend.

Now, wake up just a bit and realize that even though that person did not in fact call you and say those moving things, you could call her and say what you imagined, maybe even a bit more smoothly because you’ve rehearsed it once or twice just now. The point is, you have immense power.

We have little appreciation how lonely people are in this postmodern, fragmented world. Even those with a lovely family—but the family is under several kinds of pressures:
  – continual distraction by addicto-genic movies, television, computer games, computer books
  – continual pressure to do more, community involvements, time demanding clubs, and factor in also the time it takes to drive their, don the uniform, shower afterwards, whatever…
  – the “culture of maximal discontent,” meaning that whatever you do, there is a background industry suggesting that you haven’t been ambitious enough, striven enough, tried hard enough
… and so forth. So being thought about is powerful.

I think the ol’ “reach out and touch someone” really happens only one/hundredth of the amount that’s needed. You can be an ant touching antennas, greeting, making that little social connection that expands the individual’s identity by 25% or more. “Wow, I’m not just a lonely no-‘count loser, somebody knows me!” We should not underestimate the general level of alienation, the need for 50% or more greater numbers and quality of “strokes” happening in the interpersonal field. Yes, reach out and touch someone. Discover and learn how very powerful you can be in this way.