Adam Blatner

This mouthful translates from the German, a feel for the togetherness-group, a social club. Alfred Adler, the individual psychologist and physician, used this term as the pro-social alternative to egotistic competition, trying to be one up. He saw it as the primary alternative to neurosis—and I agree.

“I get to help” is one of my spiritual mantras. I’ve been honored, privileged to help a bit in a number of activity groups. That is, we did stuff, which focused the energy, but it was social. Over the years, I’ve square danced, folk danced, round danced, ballroom danced, taught classes in a community program we created for elders, sang in our community chorus, and before that held song fests, and other stuff.

Truth is I’m a bit of an introvert, partly. I don’t socialize just for the social life—I need something to do, to focus my effort. I can shmooze a bit, but I really prefer helping. I’ve realized that this side of my being helps to balance the bookish side, the part where my family said of me, “he always has his nose in a book.”

Finding a comfortable balance has been a small element in my overall journey, but a definite one. I wonder if finding this balance is more or less of an issue for others; I suspect for some, it is.