A contemplation on two poems from the early-mid 20th century poet, e. e. cummings:
—
"may I be I is the only prayer\u2014
not may I be great or good
or beautiful or wise or strong."
– –
"to be nobody-but-yourself\u2014in a world
which is doing its best, night and day,
to make you everybody else\u2014means
to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting.
~e. e. cummings <\/p>\n
I agree with these sentiments, but would add a few points. First, the way the world tries to make you different has changed. It’s no longer small town pressures, but rather an urban, postmodern condition alluded to by Kenneth Gergen he calls \u201csaturation.\u201d That is, instead of the problem being church, school, neighbors and the like subtly oppressing you, asking you to conform, what I think is going on instead is more distracting, diverting, diluting: There are through the mass media now innumerable subtle messages from all sides\u2014especially advertisements and media\u2014that include:<\/p>\n
(1) Whatever you do, it certainly isn’t enough. There are myriad causes that you’re not doing enough to support, for sure. Heavy but subtle pressure on un-named sins of omission. Not only have there been many new technologies, but there\u2019s also a general rise in expectations of ourselves and others.<\/p>\n
( 2) Whatever you are, it isn’t enough. Are you fit enough, safe enough, are your breasts large enough, your belly flat enough? Are you popular enough? Are you (heaven forfend) \u201cmissing out\u201d?? (the Fear of Missing Out\u2014FOMO\u2014has become an acronym worthy of note lately!) We thus live in a world of unending expectations for health, spiritual attainment, knowledge, etc.<\/p>\n
(3) And have you given adequate support to your spouse or kids? What is enough? Lessons? College coaching? Remedial work? Rides to and from? And it\u2019s a subtle matter of what is your peer group doing? There\u2019s a keep-up-with-the-Joneses that isn\u2019t status symbol but rather are you being a good enough parent!<\/p>\n
With your spouse there\u2019s an unending demand\u2014if not from the spouse, in an unspoken way by the near-pornographic media for active sexual \u201cgratification\u201d\u2014are you \u201cman enough,\u201d or \u201cwoman enough\u201d\u2014and that is aside from are you helping enough around your home\u2014well, look at it! It\u2019s cluttered a lot more than the homes in the situation comedies on television. <\/p>\n
(4) So what about you being you? Have you made greatest use of your talents and potentials?? I don’t think so! Is it possible to be you and not make the greatest use, just some use, or a little use? What if your limitedness and need to take it easy in life is also a potential?<\/p>\n
So to \u201cbe yourself\u201d is not easy, because it isn\u2019t enough to \u201cbe\u201d\u2014there are un-ending lists of things yet to do to even break even with being okay. What if we then translate cummings\u2019 poems into something like do enough. And add to that \u201caccording to your priorities rather than the \u2018oughts\u2019 suggested by others.\u201d These can sneak up on you so that you come to believe you really want to fulfill those expectations, that these are your true self wants. So reviewing these priorities, how much, which parts, discerning, pushing against well-meaning friends or relatives, all are part of what makes the aforementioned battle so hard. <\/p>\n
Another problem here is the battle to question the more general cultural injunction to better yourself. It\u2019s tough; I\u2019m not suggesting that you give in to doing nothing; but how to find the battle that is you being you and not someone else? Thus, I am here questioning the cultural injunctions to better yourself. Indeed, there are innumerable ways to do this\u2014A. J. Jacobs recently wrote a book just about how to ideally \u201ckeep fit.\u201d We should be suspicious of seemingly noble goals as unqualified virtues. There is such a thing also I call \u201cenough already.\u201d Fighting the overload of role demand at work, play, and in life is part of the postmodern adaptation. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A contemplation on two poems from the early-mid 20th century poet, e. e. cummings: — "may I be I is the only prayer\u2014 not may I be great or good or beautiful or wise or strong." – – "to be nobody-but-yourself\u2014in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,13,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-702","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-events","category-spirituality-and-philosophy","category-wisdom-ing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/702"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=702"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/702\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":703,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/702\/revisions\/703"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=702"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=702"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}