Consider that being \u201coverwhelmed\u201d is a valid diagnostic description. It happens frequently in mild ways: The person feels, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say, I don\u2019t know how to respond. I may not be clear what is happening, I\u2019m a bit disoriented.\u201d It can be felt but not yet given words. The person may just gape, or shut down a bit.<\/p>\n
Being overwhelmed in a benign, protected context can be simply a liminal state, a neutral opening to other possibilities, a role transition in which the new role is not yet clear, or the elements of loss and gain are not yet spelled out. It may be mildly dysphoric, needing only a deep breath, relaxation, and mental disconnection from the challenge. Whoa!<\/p>\n
This is a vulnerable state, because if it feels \u201cnot okay\u201d to be overwhelmed, the state can transform in various directions—anxiety, depression, rage. Thus, it can be a source for more complex negative reactions.<\/p>\n
Regarding anxiety: Dr. Hans Selye, who did research on stress in the mid-20th century, noted that the greatest stresses arise when (1) a decision must be made; (2) the results of that decision are not trivial\u2014they may involve a lot of money or some other distinctly negative consequence; but that (3) the basis for that decision is quite ambiguous. In such cases, overwhelmed becomes attached to anxiety.<\/p>\n
As for depression: If the person believes that he or she \u201cshould\u201d be able to cope, and\/or significant others believe this, then being overwhelmed becomes an occasion for depressive negative self-talk, thus deepening any tendencies towards depression.<\/p>\n
If the person feels somewhat self-possessed or entitled, or is supported by others who feel oppressed by that which overwhelms, the response may be rage. It\u2019s very visceral, more than anger, because feeling overwhelmed is also very vulnerable and visceral. Lashing out can happen before one even realizes what is going on.<\/p>\n
Yet at the root, thinking of the interaction in terms of those secondary elaborations\u2014depression, anxiety, or rage\u2014may be misleading. It confuses the expression of a disease\u2014such as a rash\u2014from its actual etiology\u2014whether, in the case of a rash, it\u2019s caused by allergy, some kind of infection, a dietary deficiency, and so forth.<\/p>\n
Admittedly, not all depressions or anxiety states or anger states arise from feeling overwhelmed—this point should be emphasized! But sometimes that IS what\u2019s going on, and it\u2019s very useful to know this category exists so as better to be able to recognize it when it happens.<\/p>\n
Being overwhelmed in turn may have a varying mixture of several elements:
\n– disorientation
\n– role demand in excess of ability
\n– degrees of fatigue
\n– various mixtures and ratios of interest and disinterest
\n– press of distractions or other role demands
\n… and so forth.<\/p>\n
Keeping this in mind, for a parent, teacher, or compassionate other, seeking to empathize, it\u2019s worthwhile recognizing that \u201cfeeling overwhelmed\u201d is a common response, though those who feel overwhelmed may not know the words to use or feel free admitting it. Other phrases that might fit as well if not in some cases better: \u201cToo much.\u201d \u201cOverload.\u201d \u201cStop the world, I want to get off.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhoa, now.\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s just cool off and step back a bit.\u201d\u00a0 The luxury of being offered the option of decompression, of taking a break, is so very comforting and reassuring.<\/p>\n
One of the benefits as well as the problems in this term is that it situates the problem not in the individual (to be fixed so that s\/he \u201cadjusts\u201d) but equally or perhaps even more so in the situation. If a child is overwhelmed in a classroom, it could be because there are many elements:
\n\u2013 there is blackboard work and the child is nearsighted and this is un-diagnosed (not an unusual problem in mid-childhood); or there\u2019s a hearing difficulty
\n\u2013 there are social problems of rejection and alienation, so the child\u2019s attention is distracted into feelings of fear and shame
\n\u2013 there\u2019s an intellectual mismatch, so that the teacher or principal is unaware that this kid is either in \u201cway over her head\u201d or undiagnosed gifted and bored
\n\u2013 the child is sleep-deprived, hungry (no breakfast), in chronic pain, or in other ways distracted
\n. . . and so forth. So, first, a good diagnosis, not in the sense of slapping on a label, but rather in getting a workable sense of what\u2019s going on, so that constructive measures may be taken.<\/p>\n
Looking back, I think this would have been a better starting place\u2014the concept of \u201coverwhelmed,\u201d than many other diagnoses, which may distort the situation. With \u201coverwhelmed\u201d there are are fewer other assumptions to be brought in. Too often we imagine anxiety or depression to be afflicted with negative self-talk as a causative element, which it sometimes is\u2014but not always! What I\u2019m reaching for is the diagnostic equivalent of what for an artist is a broader palette of colors.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Consider that being \u201coverwhelmed\u201d is a valid diagnostic description. It happens frequently in mild ways: The person feels, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say, I don\u2019t know how to respond. I may not be clear what is happening, I\u2019m a bit disoriented.\u201d It can be felt but not yet given words. The person may just […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-literacy","category-psychotherapy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=279"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":597,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions\/597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=279"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=279"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blatner.com\/adam\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=279"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}