Enactment involves physically \u201cdoing\u201d the action implied, rather than just thinking or even talking about it. It embodies the encounter that\u2019s implied. Enactment is needed because it \u201canchors\u201d what is expressed and associated insights in consciousness. One is more likely to remember the the intention behind the action or other thoughts that come to mind in the interaction.<\/p>\n
People tend to forget, you see. The mind has a tendency to be flabby, to drift off from what it was talking about, especially if loaded feelings are associated with the thoughts. People in conflict tend to dissociate a little. This is often overlooked because people have a tendency to think they know what they\u2019re doing even when they don\u2019t—me included.<\/p>\n
For example, yesterday at a restaurant I carelessly ordered lemonade instead of water with a bit of lemon, and ended up being charged for this slip\u2014just costly enough for my guardian angel, \u201cBud,\u201d to nudge me and say \u201cwake up just a bit more.\u201d What? I thought I was awake; but I wasn\u2019t; I really didn\u2019t realize I was saying \u201clemonade.\u201d <\/p>\n
This intrinsic flabbiness of mind also explains not only why it\u2019s important to write things down, but, more fundamentally, how writing operates as one of the major technologies of humanity. When I say \u201cwriting\u201d I am referring to a huge complex that involves the discovery and manufacture of paper, the invention of printing, creation of legible type faces, the evolution of writing systems, writing implements, and all this has evolved over thousands of years. (I describe the history of writing on my website<\/a>.)<\/p>\n Without writing, whatever goes on just in talking tends to be be too elusive. Thoughts alone, unexpressed, internal, tend to be too easily attacked by a host mental dissolving processes: Thoughts may be dismissed as too puny. The unconscious mind, objecting to anything that might be forbidden, may be buried, repressed. This happens more if we even dare touch on forbidden topics. The mind broils with tiny (and sometimes not-so-tiny) complexes, like little parasites, who mock us, as if to say, \u201cWho do you think you are, someone who might think something worthwhile?\u201d<\/p>\n Applying this idea of externalizing and concretizing expressions, enactment thus helps \u201canchor\u201d thoughts and feelings, as I said above. Saying the thought out loud, as if the other person was there to hear it; saying it in \u201cas if\u201d or dramatic sense of imagining the other person was hearing it—this act helps. It helps more if you have an audience—even one person—or better, a few—who hear you make that affirmation or set that boundary.<\/p>\n